2
Posted in HUMOR
June 22nd, 2018

CRAPPY LEADERSHIP

These are some of the worst leadership lessons I've ever experienced.  It gets worse as you get farther down the list. 

  1. Competition breeds favoritism. – I think at one point in life my dad tried this.  It may have contributed to the early loss of my baby teeth through the assistance of my older brothers knuckles.

 

  1. Fear is an instructional commodity. – If you’re at work and constantly reminded that your job is a privilege, then that just feels so good. “You won the golden ticket getting this job!” … Yeah, I get it.  You can shove the job up your ass then.

 

  1. Respect the position, or else. - I know, power feels good.  Good for you.  Good thing you’re also human and bleed like the rest of us.  Lots of good things will come from your heir of superiority I’m sure.  Ask Julius Cesar how it worked out for him.  Ides of March and all that shit.

 

  1. Do what I say, not what I do. – Probably my favorite trait of shitty traits to have. They are the kind of leader who believes their position allows them the latitude of lazy rule following.  You gotta wear the nice suit and show up on time because you haven’t proven yourself yet.  They sit in the corner and say “I get to do what I want…” and breed a ton of animosity in the process like a giant asshole.

 

 

  1. I’ll make the decision after I know what it is. – These are the guys that always want people to like them.  You know, the one that tells you stuff like “today we gotta do this blah blah.” The only problem is that it is already on the calendar.  It’s the same guy that will refuse to step outside of given parameters and make an actual decision because accountability is a thing for other people.

 

  1. I’ll support you as long as it’s okay. – You’ve met them. Hell, this person might be someone like your mother or father.  They say shit like “Well, if YOU THINK it’s the best thing then I’ll support what YOU THINK.”  Then, when it doesn’t quite work out, they stand there with their arms folded and say “Oh, well, I GUESS WHAT YOU THOUGHT WASN’T RIGHT.”  Like they had the fucking answer the whole time.

 

 

  1. Sharpshooting fuck faces. – I don’t even know what else to call them. Standing around the water cooler offering their opinion of how they think it should be done kind of people.  They are the ones that wait until all the action is over and then jump in at the end and tell everyone how they would have done it different in order to make it better.  Often, they will throw in great tidbits of information that could have only been learned once the task was already done.  Fuck those people.  I hope they get hit with a semi-truck while crossing a narrow bridge over a river filled with rusty knives that they fall into.  I hope their water cooler sharpshooting fuck face buddies fall in with them too.

 

  1. Spotlighting Ranger Fuck. – These guys are the best. And by the best, I mean the worst.  They’re the kind of stupid fuck that will sit in a recliner all day long and do nothing until someone with shiny brass on their collar walks by.  Then all of a sudden, they are the hardest working guy in the room.  Everyone knows their shitbaggery is colossal, but they seem to think they’re fine.  When these guys are leaders, they are the ones that do nothing but expect results from everyone else.  It’s especially fun when they imply they should get credit for your work and actions because they are your ‘manager’, ’boss’ or whatever. Fuck those fucking fucker fucks.

 

 

  1. The wannabe leader. – I actually imagine tying these people up with concertina wire and making them sing showtunes while I cut their nuts off with a butter knife then spraying their cuts from the razor wire with Windex right before I dip their faces in old bags of dog shit. I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore.  Oh… The wannabe leader.    They are the ones that walk around tattling on other people over stupid piddly shit because they think it will make them look good to the actual bosses.  They are more interested in pointing out the failures of others that they can’t even see their own giant pile of worthlessness.  Fuck them too.

 

  1. Let’s end on a good note. – Good leaders listen. They do that more than anything else.  They are also servants.  A leaders job is two fold: 1. Lift up those around you. 2. Constantly, regularly and with dogged persistence you should train everyone around you to do your job and everything you know.  The best leaders make decisions based on the welfare of the group and NEVER make decisions based on their own ego.

2 comments

  • Sandi

    I really enjoy your writings. Keep it up.

    Reply to Sandi
    • Post authorthewarisnotover

      This was a very different path than my previous ones. Thanks for the compliment Sandy.

      Reply to thewarisnotover

Comments & Reviews

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*